If you are just enthusiasm, it can be directed in anything, anywhere, all directions. That is how multi-dimensional growth happens within you. Fullness of consciousness blossoms in all aspects.
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When confused - try to do meditation
Just a suggestion, hope this helps. Try to go deeper in your daily practices and do some meditation. Also, if you have not done and Part 2 course, then try to do that.
Also, about your relationship, I would suggest approach it in new light, as if you are a new person, without any past baggage! Approach it witout guilt or pressure.
and just remember guru. surrender to him and you will find your way.
Jai Gurudev!
Best luck!